I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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