i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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