I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
