how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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