im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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