theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize