i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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