I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
