Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this will be a night to untag.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
