sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
