If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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