I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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