He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
