paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
...so i touched it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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