And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
