Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize