Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize