my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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