it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The air taste purple.
Randomize
