Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
