there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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