I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
