i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
