Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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