i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize