Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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