Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
