absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize