thus making me awesome and them whores
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
