U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
