Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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