Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize