There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize