Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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