I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He did a backflip because drugs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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