One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
