i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
