are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
