I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
