She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
