Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
