im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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