So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
