Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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