he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
