yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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