It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
