I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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