is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
