On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
either way he was missing a nipple.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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