Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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