there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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