Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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