shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
